The Ferrets Who Don't Do Anything

Written by: Adrian Haager
Parody of 'The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything' from VeggieTales

Note: The first Ferret Symposium was held in Ontario Canada in the Fall of 2000

Narrator: "Joining Lupi are Samweis and Vash the Stampede, who together make up the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Ferrets Who Don't Do Anything!"

All:
We are the ferrets who don't do anything
we just stay home and lie around
if you ask us to do anything
we'll just tell you...

Lupi:
we don't do anything.

Samweis:
we'll i've never hit the litter box
and i've never dug a dig box
and i've never eaten kibble out of my big porcelin bowl
and i've never shredded carpet
and i've never jumped the barrier
and i've never been to Canada in the Fall!

All:
Cuz' We're the ferrets who don't do anything
we just stay home and lie around
if you ask us to do anything
we'll just tell you...

Vash:
we don't do anything.

Vash:
We'll i've never slept in sleep sacks
and i've never slept in hammies
and i've never slept in cubies cause i've never slept at all
and i've never slept in pillows
and i've never slept in towels
and i've never been to Canada in the Fall!

All:
Cuz' We're the ferrets who dont do anything
we just stay home and lie around
if you ask us to do anything
we'll just tell you...
we don't do anything.

Lupi:
We'll i've never washed the dishes
and i'm not to good at Halo
and i've never driven cars to St. Louis or St. Paul
and i've never fought a dragon
and i've never watched a movie
and i've never been to Canada in the Fall!

Samweis:
Huh? What are you talking about? What's Halo and watching
movies have to do with being a ferret??"

Vash:
Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about ferret-y things!"

Lupi:
Oh ..."

Samweis:
And who ever fought a dragon? That's just nonsense! Why even
bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"

Vash:
I think you smell like ferretone!"

Samweis:
Huh? No I don't!"

Vash:
Do too."

Samweis:
Do not!"

Vash:
You're making me hungry."

Samweis:
That's it, you're off the play mat!"

Vash:
Says who?"

Samweis:
Says the Alpha Ferret, that's who!"

Vash:
Oh, yeah? Prove it, you fat Hob!"

Lupi:
and i've never licked a fan blade
and i've never sniffed the new glade
and i've never painted canavas with my red, blue, yellow paws
and i've never bathed in Zupreem
and I dont look good in sweaters

Samweis:
You just don't get it...

All:
And we've never been to Canada in the Fall!